Jodi
therealbarbielifts:

thehealthywarrior:

fullten:

shadowrat420:

jackthemother:

lydieslittlefamily:

lightsharpnesssong:

jenova-amaranth:

fullten:

dollycoquetry:

fullten:

A lot of dudes think women dress slutty for them, but honestly if men weren’t such fucking animals I would dress 300000% more slutty then I do now. You people ruin everything.  
I wanna wear this shit outside god damn it. 

Oh my god SO TRUE. I would constantly wear thigh highs and short skirts and underbust corsets because I look so fucking good. God forbid women like their OWN bodies, too.

For real !! like 90 % of my fucking wardrobe now is just for cam cause it’s too sexy to wear in public. Fucking bullshit.  I use to wear thigh highs with garters with shorts a lot but I got sooo many comments. Fucking… people. You literally just saw the tops of my thighs. But all the dudes are like ‘Why wear that if you don’t want attention???’ cause i look fine as hell and I don’t give a shit about some fucking random broke ass dudes on the corner. 

I can’t even express how much this describes my feelings. Bitch I wear my corsets and my fishnets and my heels the size you wish your dick was because they make me feel fucking fabulous, not because I want you to tell me how much you’d like to “smash” me.

Heels the size you wish your dick was.

Omg this

This this a million times this

A few points from a male perspective on this. 1, if this is how you truly feel, act that way in the bar/club/social gathering. That means dont pay attention to the duche that makes cat calls, and thinks a few drinks is the admission cost to your panties, try spending time with the shy guy, that creepy stare might not be that creepy. 2, if your with a man that treats you that way, DUMP HIM, 3, once you dump the loser, go on a date with the “like a brother” thats always there for you. Hes probably just waiting for you to realize hes worth a chance, but doesnt want to pressure you about it. Yall bitch about being treated like a piece of meat, untill you hit the bar and expect every man in there to buy you drinks cause you wiggled your ass. Make up your minds, and men will act accordingly. If shivery is dead, its because women killed it.

‘try spending time with the shy guy, that creepy stare might not be that creepy.’
I really really hope that you never conceive daughters… or sons, or anything, really, because everything you have to say about women is harmful and, insanely simple minded, it seems like you only learn about women from unreliable second hand sources, like your other guy friends who have no idea what it’s like to actually talk to women. 
Also, this post is about how women want to be treated like people without being harassed or abused, no one was asking for dating advice from a dude who doesn’t even understand how dating fucking works. 

how can you take someone seriously who thinks CHIVALRY is spelled shivery.We ain’t fucking cold. 

Omfg. This fedora needs to check himself.
"

HOW TO BE THE GIRL HE WANTS:

the first time someone tells you these words I hope you stick out your hand and catch the letters in the air I hope you crunch them in your fist I hope you shove them back into the mouth they flew out of I hope and pray you are not eight years old and hanging off of a shopping cart and groaning about how bored you are, I hope you were not young like I was the first time I read a magazine on a shelf underneath the candy I hope you weren’t young because I still thought everything I read had to be true - but better yet, I hope these words never find you.

They tell you to be strong but it’s the little things like this that sit on our hips and tangle in our hair and feel like bees when the night gets dark. It’s the little things we could never ever shake off because the minute we tried, we discovered there were more waiting for us.

HOW TO LOOK GOOD FOR SUMMER:

smile more often. I hope the first time someone calls you fat, you shimmy your shoulders and wink and feel like a goddess and take it as a compliment. I hope you are not the new kid in a fifth-grade class, glasses on your nose and your hair in tangles. I hope nobody ever touched your tummy and asked if you were embarrassed by the way it jiggles. I hope if you ever hear those words, you reach out your beautiful fingers and touch the temple of the person talking and ask, “Are you embarrassed your brain works like that?”

See, I have not gained weight since the eight grade and I’m twenty. I have had about four hundred people tell me I’m skinny but it’s only the two or three voices about the thickness of my thighs and the fat on my hips - these are the only voices that stick. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Take a bath. Stare at your reflection. Count the flecks beside your iris. Promise yourself you’re not going to ruin your life - you won’t let them win. Don’t let that moment cause ripples. Yank out the cruelty from your system.

HOW TO HAVE BETTER SEX:

stop faking it. Stop engineering your body to be a call-and-response of bruises and shots. I hope you are not fifteen the first time a boy kisses you hard. I hope you do not go home with a bloody mouth and spend the rest of your life thinking love is stained with iron. I hope you are not swallowing your sanity to be with somebody. I hope the first time you let someone touch you, they are someone worthy of your trust - I hope that nobody tries to force you into a label like “frigid” or “slut.”

In the animal world, most males have bright plumage so they can attract mates. In humans, we expect ladies to look a certain way. When you break out of the norm, suddenly you’re rattling chains. How dare you not want sex and still look this way. Maybe people are scared of admitting your body has power - it can turn heads in a baggy sweatshirt. Your body doesn’t need a magazine’s confirmation. Your body’s been through hell and still keeps on living. Put on your heels and stalk down the sidewalk. Take off your makeup. Do what you need to feel awesome.

HOW TO BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN:

ignore everything they tell you. Don’t let them in.

" -
Maybe one day I’ll make a list of every single terrible magazine I’ve read. I think I’m gonna start an advice column called “If it makes them money, it’s probably not good.” /// r.i.d (via rauchwolken)

kingsleyyy:

this hedgehog is cheering for u bc u can do anything image

knitmeapony:

ONE TWEET. THIS FIT IN ONE TWEET. IF YOU FUCK IT UP YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.
"If a poem hasn’t ripped apart your soul; you haven’t experienced poetry." - Edgar Allan Poe (via farr0h)

bahtmun:

emergeddivergent:

falloutgal:

gallifrey-feels:

jawnthetimelord:

incendiarism:

why do americans start their school years in the middle of the year that makes no fucking sense

when else should you start school????

in JANUARY

like a REGULAR HUMAN

WE START SCHOOL YEARS IN SEPTEMBER BECAUSE THAT’S THE END OF FARMING SEASON

CHILDREN USED TO HAVE TO HELP FAMILIES WITH CROPS AND SHIT

BUT NOW CHILD LABOR LAWS

AND WE’RE TOO LAZY TO CHANGE OKAY

Hogwarts starts in September

There you go.

"Other people are not medicine." - Amy Poehler (via slutsandsinners)

thorxndor:

since I’m 18 now I had to call the hospital myself to get test results and I was simply planning on saying that I had a blood test last week and if I could get the results back but when the woman answered I said “I want my blood back” and hung up the phone, so I’m never trying that again

pale0zoic:

koripxo:

thatduck-sureisugly:

I DONT THINK IVE EVER LAUGHED THIS HARD IN MY LIFE

do white people even have responsibilities n shit like how the fuck do you have time to do this nonsense

THAT FUCKING COMMENT
choctawaukerman:

I’ve been laughing for 20 years
thatfunnyblog:

Funny Stuff you like?
brilliantandbrightdelights:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

fabled-foreigntongues:

secretobama:

cirk-urk:

That guy in the lower left corner in the crowd remembered every move 10 years later. 

is that ryan gosling 

thats fucking ryan gosling

never get over it

Ryan you little shit


Ok but this is even better because ryan and justin were best friends growing up justin timberlake’s mom was ryan’s legal guardian when they were on mickey mouse club together ryan gosling probably just wanted to be part of nsync